Hello again, my fellow readers! Here's PT. II of my Breaking Dawn breakdown.

Book II: Jacob

I've always been one of those who finds Jacob to be bratty, immature, self centered and all around annoying in comparison to Edward, so I admit that I went into this part of the book literally groaning. I felt like reading it would cause me physical pain and as I said in my last entry, I was desperate to get back to Bella's perspective during my first read through. Things changed a bit when I reread, however. I sort of enjoyed Jacob's banter from time to time and even found myself (gasp) disliking Edward at one point... but we'll get back to that. Here are my likes and my dislikes of Book II: Jacob.

Things I loved:

- The pack originally backing up Bella's decision. I thought that was very mature and wise. I was happy to see that Sam didn't use former hatred towards the Cullen's to impact his decision.

- "For a second I was just a kid - a kid who had lived all of his life in the same tiny town. Just a child. Because I knew I would have to live a lot more, suffer a lot more, to ever understand the searing agony in Edward's eyes. He raised a hand as if to wipe sweat from his forehead, but his fingers scraped against his face like they were going to rip his granite skin right off. His black eyes burned in their sockets, out of focus, or seeing things that weren't there. His mouth opened like he was going to scream, but nothing came out. This was the face a man would have if he were burning at the stake."

I absolutely loved this image. It was so perfectly written. I could really see Edward looking at Jacob with this face of desperation. It was beautiful in all it's horror. Too bad this scene was followed by the one thing that I absolutely despised! Not to mention, the one time I really disliked Edward in the whole series.

- Finally, Jacob acted like a man! I loved that he left the pack and stepped up as Alpha in order to protect Bella. Also really loved that Seth came with him, quickly followed by Leah.

-Speaking of Leah, I was so happy that she was finally able to have some peace away from Sam. I was proud of her!

- Loved that Esme was trying to make the wolves more comfortable. I wish Leah would actually have been nicer about it.

- I enjoyed the banter between Leah and Jacob. It was pretty amusing, not gonna lie.

- "You know things are bad when you feel guilty for being rude to vampires" ... loved that chapter title. Hilarious.

- Love that Edward can cook.

- "Fido." Self explanatory. ( Watch: http://oiea4.deviantart.com/art/Interference-69321887 )

- The blond jokes! Gotta love them.

- "The baby, the baby. Like that was all that mattered.... Allow me, I suggested. He paused, raising one eyebrow. Silently, I lifted my doggy bowl off the floor. Then, with a quick, powerful flip of my wrist, I threw it into the back of Blondie's head so hard that - with an earsplitting bang - it smashed flat before it ricocheted across the room and snapped the round top piece off the thick newel post at the foot of the stairs.... Rosalie turned her head slowly, and her eyes were blazing. "You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."

Hilarious. I really love how Jacob refers to her as psycho or blondie or something degrading because, honestly, Rosalie is a psycho bitch. I thought she had redeemed herself in Eclipse and at the wedding by doing Bella's hair, but sadly she reverted back to her old hateful ways later on.

- "What?" Bella asked, her face just blowing away. "What's he thinking now?" At first he didn't answer, and then -shocking all the rest of us, three distinct and separate gasps - he laid his ear tenderly against her belly. "He loves you," Edward whispered, sounding dazed. "He absolutely adores you."

Finally! Edward has returned! Praise the lord (or maybe just Edward)! This was really the first Edward swoon moment in the whole section. At last, Edward has recognized his child! You know we all did a collective, "aww!" when that happened! I will, however, have to add a small down-er thought to this... how the hell did Edward hear Renesmee's thoughts? To my knowledge, babies in the womb don't speak. Then again this is Edward's child we are talking about, so perhaps we should just refer to her as Super Nessie from now on.

- Loved that Jake was selfless and gave Edward permission to turn Bella.

- Edward's first moment with Renesmee.

Things I hated:

- " I don't care about anything but keeping her alive," he said, suddenly focused now. "If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants." He paused for one beat. "She can have puppies, if that;s what it takes."

This was so so so out of character I could not stand it! When in the world would Edward have offered up his wife for sex to another man? Not to mention another man he hates. Never ever ever ever would Edward have done this. It bothered me because it sort of cheapened his love for Bella.

Now, before any of you say it, I know a lot of you think that this actually reinforces his love. The fact that he was willing to give up so much for her proves that he truly loves her. Meyer has a tendency to do this. She puts her characters in compromising positions and makes them choose right from wrong. In Eclipse, Meyer tells us that it is the fact that Bella has the opportunity for another life that makes her choice to be with Edward as important as it is. Here it's the fact that Edward chooses to keep Bella alive no matter the cost. Forgive me, Bella's make out session with Jacob in Eclipse was a huge betrayal and now Edward's offer is just another treachery. Both wrong, although this one just happens to hit a new low.

Another thing that bothered me was how calmly Bella takes the news that Edward offered her up. Sorry, but she would have been so upset! Her husband offered to have another man sleep with her and she takes it with only a hint of suspicion. Mind you this is already after a disastrous honeymoon, where Bella was already thinking that Edward didn't like making love to her. You think that Bella would not have been upset? Hardly. Lastly, as brilliant as Edward is, how could he have not realized that the only reason that Bella wants this baby is because it is his baby! Bella's whole life revolves around him, yet he thinks all she wants is a child? What? What's that? That's right, illogical-ness yet again!

- DNA madness with Carlisle. None of that made sense. Sorry, but no. Take an anatomy lesson.

- And now we have arrived at my favorite illogical scene in the book! Horrah! The baby craves blood. Bella, who faints from the smell, is suddenly cool drinking it from a sippy straw? The Cullen's, who had to flee from Forks after Bella got a paper cut, are now prancing around the house with cups full of blood as if nothing were more normal in the world? WHAT? Not to mention when the cup falls on the white living room, it's like "oh! It's merely a stain. No worries!" WHAT? Illogical! Illogical! Gotta love when writers break the rules of their own world.

- I really really really wish we would have had more involvement with the rest of the Cullen's. I truly missed Alice, Jasper and Emmett.

- Hate hate hate the name Renesmee. I can't really stress that enough. Pick a more absurd name, please.

- The horrific, gory childbirth scene. I don't even know what to say about that. Honestly, ew. Edward having to chew his way to the baby. Just...no. Then, of course, there's the illogicalness yet again of Rosalie suddenly not being able to be around blood. Forgive me, but isn't this the same Rosalie that was prancing around with the sippy cup? Doesn't make sense.

- Syringe of venom? Fan fiction? Yes. I honestly wish that this whole Bella-turning-into-a-vampire thing would have been so much more romantic! I mean one of the reasons why she agreed to marry Edward was so that he would turn her. So that his venom would be running through her veins. It was such a romantic thought... oh well.

- I genuinely felt bad for Jacob when Bella stopped breathing, but then he was such a jerk. "I didn't feel any reason to be here beside her. She wasn't here anymore. So this body had no more draw for me. The senseless need to be near her had vanished." Fine, he was already feeling the pull towards Nessie, but still that's his best friend. Where did all this supposed love go? If you love someone it's through thick and thin. Monster or human. The way Bella loved Edward. Here Bella's dying and Jacob doesn't have the decency to stay? No likey. All the affection I had started to gather for him during the course of his story suddenly, to use Jacob's words, vanished.

- Two last points:

First, didn't Meyer say that the reason for imprinting was to find a genetic match, so to produce more little perfect, precious wolves? So how is a hybrid the perfect genetic match? See Touj0urPur on Youtube for a really fantastic video on this idea.

Second, and I really don't want to touch on this too much because there are enough blogs/videos/etc on it already, but there's no way that a vampire can impregnate a human. Meyer broke the rules of her own world so that she could tie up the series with a big bow. Plain and simple.

This concludes PT. II of my review. Check back tomorrow for the final installment!

P.S. I'll post the play list later tonight. EDIT: Here it is!

P.P.S. For your enjoyment. Click to enlarge:

  1. Two big points (on another good break-down):

    1) Totally agree that the "now we can handle being around blood so long as it is in this smell-proof plastic sippy cup that we happen to have in our house full of vampires who don't drink" and "Although I pass out at the SMELL of blood, now I love its taste" concepts were COMPLETELY illogical. As I was reading I kept wondering when one of the Cullens were going to leap over the couch and rip the cup out of her hands and gobble the blood down.

    2) What was with Edward the pimp? Willingly choosing to have your wife experience intimacy (sexual or otherwise) with another man is inappropriate. I really thought this should have gone down that he convience her that they didn't need to have the baby this way--it wasn't healthy for her and that was what was #1 to him (if SM had stayed true to character he could just dazzle her and she'd give the baby up right away, correct?). It was irritating to me that she was ravaged by this gestation (broken ribs/pelvis, anemia, etc.) and then magically she's perfect when she's a vampire... too much of a "big red bow" on the story.

    Posted on September 4, 2008 at 3:52 PM

  2. Anonymous Said,

    This review is mostly Bullshit!

    Edward was not a pimp, he wasn't suggesting Bella have lots of sex with Jake for fun. He was desperate to save her and to find another way for her to have a baby, thats all! Edwards knows how much Bella loves Jake and in his moment of complete crazy madness, he thought that Bella would consider having a baby with Jake in order to save her own life and be a mother. SIMPLE!! IT WAS 100% in Edwards character to save Bella and give her up to jake.
    Thats 100% Edward!
    Edward would TOTALLY give Bella up to Jake if it kept her alive and happy. That was already stated in Eclipse! And he gave her up in New Moon aswell to keep her safe. Thats like the biggest part of Edward's personality, the fact that he would litterally do ANYTHING to keep Bella safe and happy, even if it meant giving her up. I don't know why you found this so out of character for Edward, because he did the exact same thing in New Moon and he talked about it in Eclipse. Its not a new low because Edward knows that Bella is in love with Jake and he already made his piece with that in Eclipse.

    And MEYER did NOT break her own rules. She NEVER EVER said that a vampire could not have a baby with a human, she never said it. She only said vampires in general could not have babies. She never said anything about sperm or bodily fluids. IMDB miss-quoted her and they had to take it down.
    And if you read Stephenie's explanation, a vampire has different venomous fuilds in different parts of the body. And one of these fluids replaces and acts the same way as sperm does. SIMPLE. It still has genetic material, which totally makes sense. She didn't break her own rule at all, you arogant twat!

    Posted on September 7, 2008 at 1:20 PM

  3. First and foremost, I would appreciate you not insulting me or anyone else on my blog. It's just plain rude.

    I respect your opinion. I, however, disagree. It is one thing to give up the love of your life so that they may be able to have a better life without you and it is an entirely other thing to offer YOUR WIFE up to another man. They are married. Once you've made that commitment to someone, things are totally and completely different. Sorry, but they just are. So his offering her up to Jacob is inappropriate. He should have asked Jacob to help him in different way, but not by offering Jake his wife.

    And as for Stephenie's explanation, if you took any type of anatomy class ever, you would know that this is seriously flawed. Mostly notably, the sperm-venom is still VENOM, therefore when the vampire climaxes and releases into the human the VENOM should KILL the human seeing as how, last I checked, humans will die from poison!

    Thanks for the comment, anyhow. I like passionate discussion, but in the future please refrain from insulting me and my readers. Thanks.

    Posted on September 7, 2008 at 4:39 PM

  4. Anonymous Said,

    It's scary how much we agree on breaking dawn. The whole renesmee thing (ew!) and ive learned to love jacob even when i hated him in eclipse. this is an awesome review! I love how you did the Things I love... and Things I hate... And I do also agree on the fact that we didn't get enough romantic lines from Edward. He seemed not like himself throughout the entire book. And i feel as if the book was rushed and not detailed enough. I wanted more of the wedding/honeymoon!

    Posted on September 7, 2008 at 9:52 PM

  5. lol I think we all wanted for wedding/honeymoon! Thanks for the comment!!

    Posted on September 8, 2008 at 10:01 AM

  6. I can never hate Jacob. Not anymore. I honestly used to, but I just can't now. He's done some damn stupid things, but so has the rest of the characters in the book. I don't see why it suddenly makes Jacob the worst simply because he happened to hurt the feelings of the main characters. If he happened to hurt I don't know, someone who doesn't matter's feelings but he is still a good guy I'm sure nobody will give a crap.

    Eh, I just don't like people hating Jacob because he happens to not like Edward [big deal me either] and he loved Bella [she's annoying to me i don't like her either]

    Let me be the one to say [i think] that despite the Jacob dislike, I liked this review.

    Posted on September 23, 2008 at 5:49 PM

  7. Anonymous Said,

    When I finished reading, I was frantically loking over the page..."Where's the "like" button? WHERE'S THE "LIKE" BUTTON???!!! Honestly speaking, these are the same thoughts I had After I finished reading Breaking Dawn. I loved your review, and I totally agree with you.

    Posted on November 26, 2010 at 2:18 PM


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